i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm passing your future prison.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
