At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
