State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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