i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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