Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
