My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
