I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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