Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
