My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
