I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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