I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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