Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
