we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
ttyl tear gas
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
