so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
