You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
What a dumb baby whore.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
