Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
