I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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