somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
