your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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