who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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