If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
