Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
