I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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