Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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