If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My hand turned me down
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
