Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
