just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
