the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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