I am spending my child support on dildos
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
