Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
