just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
