if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
one two three fourrrrnication!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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