Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My dick has a subreddit
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
