i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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