i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
