I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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