Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
