you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
