I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
