Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
did i just pee glitter
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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