This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
