New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
