she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You were trust falling into bushes
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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