There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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