I didn't shave. On purpose
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
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It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
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Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
How does one acquire holy water?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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