hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My boob is missing a layer of skin
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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