Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
