I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
