I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
