I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
