I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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