Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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