you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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