Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
