This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
When are your genitals available?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
