I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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