3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize