I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize