I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood and glitter go together right?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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