Little spoons don't ask big questions
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
